Our Loss of Civility

Whatever Happened to Just Being Nice?

Politeness, courtesy, niceness and friendliness are some of the natural virtues that flow from the supernatural virtue of charity. What has happened to them?

Being thoughtful, forgiving, supportive and enabling of others are among our finest human qualities. Yet we often seem to vulgarly mock and abuse these same actions as valueless and unimportant.

As small children many of us were taught to make, "good morning," "thank you," "please" and "sir" part of our daily language patterns. Those courtesies are not much to be heard much in rap music or in street talk.

Why have we become so very angry, thoughtless and inconsiderate of others? Has the selfishness of our "me-generation" so beclouded our minds and hearts as to make us calloused and insensitive about other persons' feelings, hopes or needs?

God forbid! The love of my neighbor is essential to the Christian message, and to ignore it or abuse it is a capital crime against the Lord, who himself boldly proclaims that whatever we do to the least of our brothers he will accept as done to him.

There is a necessary mutuality about Christianity - a community, which does not admit of selfish isolationism or disregard for the rights and dignity of other people. We cannot hope for anything good for ourselves if we are not willing to share and hope for that same goodness for other people as well.

I once heard of a marriage counselor who directed his clients, in the midst of their anger with one another, to go home and write on the living room wall in large whitewashed letters: BE NICE! As you might imagine, it had a tremendous effect on the people living in that house to be reminded in such a graphic way every day that being nice was at the heart of being a decent human being.

How many times were you and I admonished in childhood by our parents to "be nice"? It is still good advice for ourselves, for our culture and for our civilization; and surely it is at the heart of the great command of Christian charity incumbent upon us all!

Rudeness, vulgarity, insensitivity, inconsiderateness certainly are not Christian virtues, nor should such things have any place among us. They are demoralizing, destructive, hurtful, and they are unworthy of anyone who would call himself a disciple of the tender, loving Christ! The encouragement that courtesy has to offer to another is one the finest gifts we have to give. Let's resolve to be generous - indeed profligate - in dispensing it.

Resolve any anger that is within you and replace it with charitable concern, and then watch what wonderful things begin to blossom in your character and personality. A healer is always far more welcome than an intentional irritant. Being part of the solution is an essential ingredient in what it means to meander with resolute direction in the footsteps of Jesus!

Let's go about doing random acts of kindness in abundance and see what happens!

 

- Written by Father Donald Meehling 7/16/2007

As published in Catholic Times July 15th edition