Iean Finley
Collinsville | Save
As I sit here to write,
I’m daunted by having to convey the love of my life in a couple of paragraphs.
How do you properly give the full measure of a man?
To say he was a good man would be completely under stating who he is. He was an extraordinary man who acted like a normal one. My much-loved husband, father, and friend, Iean Michael Finley, passed away on September 5, 2026, at the young age of 48 after a courageous battle with cancer.
Thinking back through Iean’s life has made one thing glaringly apparent, that there is an unbreakable chain of deep friendships that have been cultivated from the time Iean was little. He was the connective tissue that held together many different people from many different paths. Having deep and abiding relationships was the guiding star for how he acted in the world.
Iean always looked back fondly on his childhood. It was a time that honed and shaped his passions and pursuits. The boys that ran wild with him in his youth became the men that sat beside he and his family as he returned home.
Iean’s greatest driving attribute was his curiosity. It was forged in his early years when curiosity was the only currency that we had to operate. But, watching Iean with his children and grandson has helped me to realize that his inquisitiveness stemmed from his love of people. His seeking knowledge was always in relation to sharing it with those that he loved.
The nexus of meaning for Iean came together with him teaching and sharing those learned things with his own son and daughter. As much as his lifelong friendships shaped him, his family was his pinnacle; the very reason for all his past relationships.
Iean’s superpowers were both tremendous courage and an utter lack of shame. They functioned together and were inseparable. Therefore, life with him was rarely predictable and was often harrowing. But I knew he would pull us through the tumult.
Watching Iean operate through the years has taught me that kindness and niceness are not the same thing. Niceness is presentation, that rarely goes beyond the moment. Kindness is to know someone well and invite them into being a part of your life. Iean always brought everyone in and remembered everything about them. I’ve realized that this emanates from his finding the good in everyone. No one was too far gone or irredeemable in Iean’s eyes. He was willing to pay any price for those in his sphere, even if you just arrived.
In the center of Iean’s choices and actions was the love of people. He was such a rare soul that truly loved and was interested in all that he crossed paths with.
Even the professions that Iean pursued were centered around helping people. From the trenches of life insurance to assisting families find a home for their future, Iean delved into and excelled at the job before him. He saw a need in a market and that’s where he became proficient. Being the Short Sale King was his badge of honor, even helping Nelly in this arena. Iean’s great honor was helping families acquire homes to build their futures. Even after there business commitments were completed, Iean continued the relationship out of a love for them.
But, I always got the impression that Iean’s many relationships were shaping him for the pinnacle of his relationships. That of his family.
Watching Iean teach his son Evan to tie a proper fishing knot or show his daughter how to drive made me realize that all Iean’s other relationships were preparation for being a father. And a husband. To know that you have created beautiful little lives with someone that you adore is a truly wonderful gift. Seeing how he interacted and shaped these little lives helped me understand Iean even more and painted a great picture of what beauty is. How organic beauty is and how it continues to grow and unfurl in such unexpected ways. Fishing was just an outgrowth of Iean. His telos was when he got to take our son to the water’s edge to relive and broaden his love affair with fishing. And if there were three spots available, he would choose the one with the “No Trespassing” or “You will be shot on sight” sign to have a peaceful evening by the water.
The thing that came the easiest to Iean next to breathing and napping, was cooking. He was legendary on the grill and was coined as The Grand Wizard, or Wiz for short, by Evan and our other sons. The many nights where Iean cooked a few dozen Finley Fiesta burgers for the multitude of boys at 3am or arm wrestled a multitude of boys over 20 years younger will always stay firmly fixed in my mind of what simple beauty is.
To describe Iean as a Clutch “Fan”, would not give proper justice to his love for this rock band. From the records, swimming trunks, and towels to his shirts and the very blanket that kept him warm at night, he was a walking advertisement for Clutch. Concerts were his second home. From the time that our daughter was 12, Iean was sharing the full experience of music with her. Around that time, he took her to see Black Veil Brides, where he promised to have them meet her. Fast forward to 2am after the concert, picture a little seedy bar, and that is where Iean found the band, with our little girl. He finagled some guitar pics and an autographed hat for his little love. Iean lived entirely by the motto “better to ask for your forgiveness over permission”.
Lately, when I’ve laid my head down to sleep, I’ve been met with a sorrow that is much too heavy for me to lift alone. But, my mind will naturally gravitate to the many evenings of dancing with my love at our dance classes. I can feel my head nestled in his chest, I can feel his breath on the back of my neck as he pulls me in towards him as the music washes up and over us. The only thing that matters at this moment is him and me. Time seems to stop its necessary advent and, in this moment, I understand what eternity is, I understand what heaven feels and looks like.
So, how do you give the full, proper measure of a man?
You look at the relationships that he forged. Especially his family. You look at what he left behind. Iean showed me that the world gets better through small individual acts. A better world is born of strong relationships. It’s born of unbreakable bonds. My life’s love may never be written about in the grand annals of history, but he will continue on in the hearts of his many friends and, especially, his family. Me, my son, my daughter and our beautiful little Brycen. He will tell his kids about Iean. I hurt in ways that I can’t describe, as there really aren’t any words. I will not dwell on this. Instead, I will think about my husband preparing for our place, so that we can continue this eternal journey together as we make our way back home, back to Eden.
He was preceded in death by his parents, Richard Finley and Bobbi Jo Zika; and his grandmother, Esther Finley.
Iean is survived by his loving wife, Melissa Finley; his children, Emily Finley and Evan Finley; his grandson, Brycen Hartman; his in-laws, Michelle and Vincent Jalinsky; and his bonus sons, Darren Pennell, Zay Norton, Kolby Anderson, Dylan Hollman, Kyle Lee, and Carter Hasamear. He is also survived by aunts, uncles, cousins and many dear friends.
Donations may be made to the families Go Fund Me link to go toward their children’s education: https://gofund.me/3e267b844
A Celebration of Life will be held in Iean’s honor on Saturday, November 7, 2026, at the Collinsville VFW (1234 Vandalia St, Collinsville) from 3pm to 7pm with a Tribute to Iean starting at 5pm.
Kassly Mortuary, Ltd.
