Super Bowl Half-Time Backlash Proved We Are All Still A Bunch of Mean Girls

The backlash over Shakira and Jennifer Lopez’s Super Bowl performances should be treated as a serious wake up call to all women. Our overall wellness is at stake if we continue to ignore the root cause over why women truly judge each other so harshly. There is absolutely no reason that these two incredibly successful, middle-aged mothers should have been ripped apart for their performances by any female. In fact, they should be championed by all women who believe we have been put in the corner far too long.

Mean girls was released sixteen years ago and American women still continue to fight amongst ourselves and tear each other down instead of supporting one another. Why?

Before I address that, let’s get rid of the explanation that makes my face want to mimic the Robert Downey, Jr. meme where you can feel his eyes roll – the half-time show wasn’t “family friendly.” Women, give me a break here. I’m a mom. I have a very impressionable seven year old daughter and not once did I ever assume the half-time show would be “family friendly”. Why? Because, I have lived long enough in this country to know that “family friendly” does not sell several thousand dollar seats or six million dollar commercial slots.

Face facts, the NFL is not sponsored by Sesame Street, Disney or Nickelodeon for a reason. And I’m sorry but it’s a far stretch to classify one of the game’s largest sponsors, Annheiser-Busch, as suitable for children. There is a huge reason people call off on Monday following the Super Bowl and it’s not because they are enjoying “quality” family time with their kids. Statistics show that every year 325 million gallons of beer are consumed by Americans on Super Bowl Sunday. To put that in perspective, that’s roughly one gallon for every man, woman and child in the country. So tell me, how is that family friendly?

But, the dance moves, the stripper pole and the costumes…oh my! Alright, I hear you all loud and clear but let’s get real. The NFL has been objectifying women for the majority of its hundred years and women have been basically ok with it. We have not championed harder to have female players in the NFL. None. Zero. Nada, currently exist. Instead, we watch shows dedicated to the trials and tribulations of becoming one of the many scantily clad cheerleaders who shake their pom-poms on the side lines for the male players and fans – and children in attendance. Oh, and have we all forgotten how successful the Carl’s Jr. or Go Daddy commercials were?

Now that I stated my case, can we have an honest conversation about the root cause of our judgment? The real reason so many women felt the need to cut down Shakira and Jennifer Lopez’s performances has very little to do with the “family friendly” argument (unless you are sick of the NFL objectifying women). The truth though is we criticize, attack and try to sabotage other women because collectively women still don’t feel empowered ourselves. As much as we want to cheer in those who achieve success, it rattles us deep within our core to see another women have the success we have not permitted ourselves to have.

Instead, we will lash out if we see something expressed in another woman that we have repressed in ourselves. When it comes to standing up for one another including championing another women’s idealism or desire to change the world, we can’t. Why? Because, we have already harshly judged our own and disqualified it as an option. What’s even worse is women will chose not to support a family member, friend or co-worker who chooses to follow her passion, if she has already talked herself out of her own. And the absolute disservice we do to one another is refusing to celebrate another woman’s accomplishments because we have curtailed any success, ambition or assertiveness in ourselves. You can’t be happy for someone else when you are hurting.

Yes, we can assign a great deal of blame to the patriarchal society that is still American culture but, can we also accept that women have a tendency to be our own worst enemies? If we want to be happy and achieve a healthy level of wellness we need to acknowledge that we are under no obligation to sacrifice every part of ourselves in order to care for everyone else. That flawed logic, where we think we have to be martyrs is seriously harming our mental and physical health. Women are stressed out and we are taking it out on one another instead of being each other’s support systems. If we want to champion one another, it starts with us being nicer to ourselves. Women, this February make it a goal to learn to love yourself before you end up as just another Regina George.

Elizabeth Sindelar-Loy is the Wellness Coach for Main Street Chiropractic in Edwardsville. She has worked in traditional and holistic health care for over 8 years. Ms. Loy is a motivational wellness speaker and participates in multiple Madison County Coalitions. As a single mom to an ambitious little girl, she understands the importance of practicing self-care to achieve balance in personal and professional growth.

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