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Texas Chainsaw 3D 1 out of 5 stars

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Released: 2013
Disgusting, pandering, exploitative, and dumb, Texas Chainsaw 3D manages to be all of the above and more. It's offensive. Not in the way the original offended with it's stark naked brutality, but in the way something like "I Spit on Your Grave" offends, in that it has no value other than that of dollar signs to the filmmakers. It's offensive in that it seeks to manipulate the audience into siding with the blood-thirsty cannibals over the vigilantes who put them down. And much like I Spit on your Grave, the villains are dumb, southern white trash stereotypes in the way only people from Hollywood can portray them. The whole film strikes me as a battle of evil vs. evil, and in that situation, who cares who wins? Alexandra Daddario stars as a girl on her way to New Orleans with her friends for Mardi Gras. On the way, they must stop off in Texas, as she's apparently inherited a bit of property from a grandmother she never knew she had. This property comes with stipulations, all hidden neatly in a letter the lawyer instructs her to read right away. She ignores this advice and soon is facing down Leatherface himself, now 20 (or 40) years older than he was in the original movie. The redneck townsfolk who killed Leatherface's family off all those years ago are now in charge of the town, and they're ready to finish the job they started. Of course, Leatherface is still a chainsaw-wielding cannibal, yadda yadda, let's not hold that against him please. You eat a few people and the next thing you know, people are trying to burn your house down, jeez. And, that's basically it. There's no real plot to speak of, just a lot of running around, running away, and getting caught. There is an abundance of unrealistic computer animated gore that just doesn't have any effect on me at all. It's almost cartoon-like. Texas Chainsaw 3D is a failure in just about every way. A big, dumb bore.
John Luessenhop
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