Director David Fincher's ("The Social Network") Europe is full of aloof nords, cold war punker girls, chain-smoking tabloid journalists (well everyone in Europe smokes anyway) and, of course, nazis.  Okay, maybe these portraits aren't exactly accu...(read more)

An enigmatic young boy lives behind the scenes of a parisian train station within it's great, clockwork structures, living off of pilfered croissants and bottles of soda pop.  But food isn't the only thing the boy is stealing: he also helps himsel...(read more)

"Breaking Dawn-Part 1" is probably the first movie to ever spark the debate of vampire boners.  Since vampires are dead and have no heartbeat, one has to wonder how the male vampire is able to achieve an erection.  "It's like the bible, you'r...(read more)

The muppets return to the big screen, some 12 years after their last film, this time brought to life by Jason Segel, the "Freaks and Geeks" star who wrote and stars in the film.  Segel plays Gary, a guy who's in love with Mary (Amy Adams) and also...(read more)

For years I labored under the delusion that Harold and Kumar were spin-off characters from the "American Pie" films.  In fact, John Cho (Harold) was in the first one, and was the character who coined the phrase "MILF".  One thing about those ...(read more)

In 1982, John Carpenter made the scariest movie I'd ever seen in my life (a record it would hold for another 15 or 20 years).  "The Thing" was an intransigent horror: unknown, inescapable, and unstoppable (three terror-generating things found in a...(read more)

Baseball is arguably the most emotional and passionate sport in America.  Grown men will often get misty-eyed when the subject of our national pastime is brought up (it's an emotion somewhat akin to feelings of patriotism in that respect).  W...(read more)

I recall back in 2007, watching "There Will Be Blood" in a nearly vacant theater.  At the end of the movie, a man sitting behind me stood up and loudly proclaimed it to be the worst movie he'd ever seen, as if preemptively pleading with us to shar...(read more)

So an alligator steals a louisiana man's fiance/sister and in a rage the man eats the alligator and his sister and it mutates him into an alligator man.  100 years later, the alligator man is worshipped as a god in his local community.  Enter...(read more)

Whooo boy does this stink.  No, it's not rocket-science, making a great Conan film.  In fact, you can narrow it down to three ingredients: swords, de-capitations, and boobs.  That's it, and it takes real incompetence to mess that up.&nbs...(read more)